Week 49 – Disempowering Disappointment
First off, Align to Enlighten would like to say THANK YOU. We thank you for taking the time to read our blog posts, ask questions, leave comments and otherwise interact with our intended positive movement for humanity. As individuals, we are single drops of water. But collectively, we are an ocean of humanity. So, thank you.
For 2017 we’ve created themes for each month throughout this year in an effort to address life’s everyday challenges while offering positive insights and pragmatic solutions. In January our theme for the month was Accepting and Finding Comfort in YOU. We moved to February with A Conversation About Relationships and then March was Reclaiming Your Inspiration. We continued in April with The Power of Gratitude and Appreciation and followed that with Honoring Humanity in May. In June we touched on The Real Keys to Success in Life, July was Creating Abundance In Your Life and in August we tackled Adversity. In September we focused on Clarity. In October we delved deep into The Black and White of Racism and we just wrapped November on a very joyful note with, Learning to Live Happily Ever After. It’s been an amazing year to say the least. And we appreciate those of you who have traveled with us along this journey in 2017. For December, we want to close out the year with more of an open discussion. We speak to people throughout our days and we receive questions from people asking how to deal with certain things that come up. So during the month of December, we want to open this up to an overall conversation. December’s theme is December Discussions and is open to any and all topics. So if you have a question, want an answer, a specific topic, please feel free to “comment” and let us know. This week, we will kick things off with Dis-empowering Disappointment.
This week in the news Senate Republicans passed a sweeping tax bill that cuts taxes for Corporations and the wealthy but where does that leave the bulk of Americans? Matt Lauer was fired for sexual misconduct. Russel Simmons stepped down because of the same. We found out that slavery is alive in Libya. Kim Jong-un launched another missile which brings us that much closer to war. The list goes on and these things may spark concern, worry or disappointment, depending on who you are. But that’s happening in the outside world. What about the world that’s closer to home for you?
Your co-worker threw you under the bus. Your kids are not doing well in school. Your spouse completely let you down. Your business partner is not living up to what you thought she would be. Your pastor said something inappropriate or uncaring in the pulpit. You didn’t get the promotion you so hoped for. We are constantly surrounded by people, circumstances, situations and scenarios that do not live up to our expectations. We live in a world where disappointment has taken up permanent residence. Disappointment is that annoying relative or neighbor who shows up, unannounced, at the worst times. Disappointment is that unwanted guest. Disappointment intrudes on our otherwise happy day simply to rain on our parade. We are perpetually disappointed in people, in circumstances and in situations. But the question is, why are we? Answer: “Because I had my hopes up for xyz to happen and it didn’t!” Or “I’m disappointed because I EXPECTED so-and-so to not do me like that!” Or perhaps, “I’m let down because I had a ‘good thing’ going.” These things tend to affect our mood, our dispositions and our emotions. We begin to take on the weight of the disappointment. The more we embrace the disappointment, the heavier it becomes. The heavier it weighs on us. On our emotions. On our disposition. It truly and literally feels heavy. It becomes harder for us to dig out of it and get back to the happy and joyous disposition we love. So…WHAT…do…you…do to dis-empower disappointment? Change your perspective. Change your expectations.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” – Wayne Dyer
Every single person on earth has an individual perspective. This is vitally important to remember when dis-empowering disappointment within yourself, especially when being disappointed by people. Every person’s perspective is as unique as their fingerprint. So when they “let us down” it’s actually a reflection of your own unique perspective and expectation that is not being met. NOT the other person’s perspective or expectation. “So what does that mean? Are we not supposed to have expectations of people?” It doesn’t mean that at all. It means when people don’t respond or act the way you expect them to, change your perspective or expectation to match that of the person you are having this relationship with. It doesn’t mean you change what your perspective or expectations are of the situation. In other words, your wife disappoints you or let’s you down. For WHATEVER the reason. Simply know that your wife has her own set of perspectives and expectations. And they are not wrong. They belong to her. So accept that about her and adjust your perspective on how you will love her. It doesn’t mean she let you down so you stop loving her completely because your perspectives don’t align. When we understand this, we relieve ourselves of disappointment in people. Stop weighing them on YOUR scale. When you weigh someone on your personal scale, they will never stack up to your personal expectation. Why? Because each individual has their very own set of personal perspectives and expectations.
When considering situations or circumstances outside of people, but things that happen in everyday life that disappoint, consider this: situations and circumstances are not endowed with innate power. In other words, situations and circumstances alone carry no weight. The only weight they carry is the weight WE give them. No situation has the innate power to ruin your life. Let me provide an example. I know a man who worked in Corporate America. He attended a holiday party around this time of the year back in 2011. The man left the party, having exactly two drinks, crashed his car, killed a woman in doing so, tested positive for alcohol and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. The man was a successful mid-level manager, married with two children. He had a promising career. After several months of incarceration, the man and his wife made a decision. They made a decision that THIS would not be the end of their lives as individuals, as a couple or as a family. They decided to change their perspective regarding the situation and what they expected out of life. They chose to dis-empower disappointment! They chose to create a new reality and maintain their expectation of happiness with one another.
How we CHOOSE to manage disappointment empowers our lives. We can choose to let people, situations, circumstances, etc. have the power over us emotionally and spiritually, while commanding our dispositions. OR we can decide to be empowered regarding how we choose to see people, situations and circumstances and regain the power they are trying to take away from us. When we make the choice, at that moment, we have disengaged, debilitated and dis-empowered any type of disappointment. And we have chosen to empower ourselves.