Week 35 – Finding Your Calm Within Your Chaos
“Exposing and embracing our vulnerabilities exposes and embraces our authenticity” – Gene Black
All month we’ve been exploring Adversity. Where do we stand with adversity? How do we overcome adversity? How should we deal with adversity? Why does adversity exist? How do we head off adversity at the pass? How do we navigate adversity? The relationship between “the victim and the victimizer.” Well this week, as we close out the topic, we want to discuss Finding Your Calm Within Your Chaos.
This past week presented a unique challenge for me. I had a business trip to take for my new job. This was the first business trip for me since I was hired and my responsibility was to make a presentation for the first time to a group of people who wanted to learn more about the products and services my company provides. While I’ve delivered dozens upon dozens of presentations without angst, this was my first time with my new company with no support from the veterans and I hadn’t been on a plane in over a year. I found myself full of anguish, torment and anxiety. I was anxious about riding the plane. I was anxious about presenting material I’m fresh and new to. I was completely unsettled within my spirit.
I set out on my journey on Tuesday, got on the plane to Chicago without incident. As I traveled, my mind continued to feed me thoughts of worry, doubt, questions of success, what if’s and ideas of complete disastrous failure. I was in mental and spiritual crisis. I was wrestling with an adversity I’d created from within. And I wasn’t sure how I would deal with it. Everything I tried seemed to work briefly and then I went back to panic mode. In fact…I ultimately had a panic attack.
The plane landed in Chicago and I was walking to the next gate to make my connection to Cleveland. My steps were slow…deliberate…and focused on maintaining control. When I got to the connecting gate, I was the very last person they were waiting for. The lady scanned my ticket and I began walking down the corridor. After 5 steps in, I went into a complete panic attack. I ran out of the corridor, dropped my bag by the lady who had just scanned my ticket and ran to the men’s room. Heart pounding, sweating, nauseous, shaking, eyes wide. The thoughts that ran through my mind were chaotic…” OMG what an embarrassment! Look at how weak you are! You’re never going to make it to Cleveland! You’re going to do horribly in that presentation! You’re going to miss your flight! How will you explain this to your boss?!?!? How long will you be in this bathroom?!?!?!?” I was in full and complete panic. How would I ever find my calm within my chaos??? I was afraid.
One thought…one thought pierced through the chaos my mind was embracing. It was a quote I read…”you are a spiritual being having a human experience. You are a spiritual being…having a human experience.” It was THIS understanding that brought me back to a truly grounded and authentic understanding of what was actually happening. I am a SPIRTUAL BEING first! I have power over this material world! I have power over this material body! I gathered myself physically, mentally and spiritually in that moment. I proceeded back to the gate where the lady who had scanned my ticket was in shock. She said, “I closed the door, I didn’t know what happened and I wasn’t sure you were coming back.” I told her I was fine now and she allowed me to jump on the plane at the last minute. I flew to Cleveland and delivered the most awesome presentation I ever had. Evidence being the amount of people who came up to me afterward to express their appreciation. By the way…American Airlines also lost my luggage and I had to deliver my presentation in the same clothes I’d worn the night before instead of the suit I was supposed to wear. Nevertheless…I’d found my calm and I’d refused to let it go. Even in the midst of THAT situation as well.
As we are faced with adversities in our lives, we often times tend to feed the thoughts that help the adversities to grow. The stories in our minds continue to feed the monster that is attacking our well-being. It is important to be able to locate your calm within whatever is happening around you. Sometimes this is easier said than done. Many times, it’s easier said than done. One of the ways to assure yourself of finding your calm within your chaos is by practicing your calm frequently and not only when chaos or adversity happen. I realized, after this incident, that while we’ve written this blog for almost three years, spoken of being aligned, grounded, meditative, relaxed and how to manifest our desires, I don’t have it all figured out! I STILL must actively work at it! I STILL must do the things that brought me to the space of being aligned and enlightened. This is a journey with no ending. It is for us to experience the journey and be focused in the moments we experience. I realized…I hadn’t meditated in almost a month. I hadn’t practiced my calm. Therefore, it was more difficult for me to call it up in the midst of my chaos. Meditation provides the communion with my authentic self. It is this space where the authentic you is at complete peace. At the foundation of the soul, there is no chaos. Only peace and order. Living from the space of the soul allows us to truly “see” life as it is happening, put it into authentic perspective and therefore manage it for what it actually is. I was in no real danger on Tuesday night. There was no need for me to embrace a “fight or flight” mentality. I had no reason to think the plane would crash, I’d bomb my presentation or any other horrible thing my mind created. But I was lost in the swirl of chaos and adversity my mind had created. I reacted to my situation instead of creating what I knew was true. Be mindful in the midst of chaos and adversity so as to not contribute further to it.
When chaos, panic, bedlam, adversity comes across our paths, it is important to find your grounding point. That place of mental and spiritual safety. That balance of authentic reality versus created confusion. For we are the purveyors of the realities we create. PRACTICE your calm. EMBRACE your calm. LIVE within your calm. Daily. Whether it’s through meditation, yoga, church, praying…WHATEVER it is that brings you immediate and sustained peace…do it. And do it frequently. THIS is the way you will easily find your calm within your chaos. Namaste