Week 3 – LOVE for the Haters
I hear LOTS of people now days speak of “haters.” It’s in tons of rap songs, pop songs, on ‘reality’ shows, etc. Haters, shade, envy, jealousy, you name it, we’ve labeled it and are determined to accept it as ‘real’ in our lives. And the fact is, it DOES exist on some level of reality. But it’s the reality that is being defined by both the ‘hater’ and the person perceiving the hate that is being given.
Our theme this month is really all about “Accepting and Finding Comfort in YOU.” What we understand along this journey of Aligning Your Soul to Enlighten Your Path is, all happiness, joy, excitement, passion, success, failure, next steps, rights, wrongs, perceptions, glory…is all defined by YOU. It is all determined by us as individuals. Not defined or determined by another. However, we often times allow others to define our successes, failures, joys and disappointments. In Week 1’s, Finding Comfort In Who You Are…, we outlined how there is a safe haven within each of us and it is forever present. That safe haven is our authentic reality and our authentic perception of who we truly are. In Week 2’s, Care Less What They Think, we encouraged the abandonment of defining ourselves based on what others think. What others perceive. “What they think about you is really none of your business. You are not trying to measure up to their thoughts of you!”
This week, we turn to actually LOVING those who look to persecute us. This may be counterintuitive, as we go through life looking to defend our honor, our pride, our position against anyone who would oppose our character. But…we are here to tell you, providing love for the ‘haters’ creates a smoother path for yourself.
Some of the more famous people who were able to do this: Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. These people lived the epitome of what it means to provide “LOVE for the Haters.” But why? What did it get them? What was the reasoning behind that? In a nutshell, when we provide love to ALL of those around us, it opens a path for our heartfelt desires to be realized. Period. Whatever it is we are seeking to accomplish in life, whatever desires we’ve expressed to the Universe, whatever authentic goals we seek to manifest, can only be realized when we created a space of ALLOWANCE for them to surface. The fact is, and this goes for any circumstance or situation, when we reciprocate the hatred that is being given, we stifle the joy, happiness, tranquility and overall success we seek. By releasing the need for ‘payback’ we create a space of openness for our true desires to thrive.
As an example…have you ever had a heated argument with someone and it seemed like there was no resolution in sight? Both parties were willing to fight to the death to ‘prove their point?’ Think back to how you actually felt during this altercation; angry, frustrated, tense, heavy negative emotion with payback in mind. Then either you or the other person acquiesced and offered an ‘olive branch’ of compromise. They or you acknowledged the others’ point of view. At that point, some of the anger subsided, the frustration became less and you began to relax a bit. As the conversation continued down this path, a sense of possibilities and alternative outcomes were born. This was only possible because a space of allowance was created, thus freeing the authentic you. There was no more restriction of who you authentically are because you no longer needed to defend your ego. You were free to be you. Free to simply be and operate without restriction. Without restriction of pride, ego and stubbornness which all restrict movement forward. THIS is how we WIN the game against the ‘haters.’ By loving them to create a space for you to achieve whatever it is you are looking to achieve. But what is key is to be genuine in your love for the haters and not be apathetic.
It’s that residual apathy that will also keep our desires stifled. For example, when we say, “yeah, I’ll forgive you but I won’t forget.” Or, “I’ll let them have their way, but I’m gonna get them back!” This does not serve to support your authentic desires. In the end, there is nobody keeping score of how many times someone did you ‘wrong’ and how many times you ‘paid them back.’ The loser in that game is yourself because the entire time you WERE keeping score, your emotions continued to sulk, prolong anger and hold stress. Those emotions do not serve you well and they stop the progress of how you truly DESIRE to feel…happy, joyful, peaceful, etc.
By genuinely coming from a place of love, ESPECIALLY to those who persecute you, magnifies the joy inside of you! And it is that specific vibration of love you are offering that the Universe will respond to. And THAT is what allows you to achieve what you desire by loving your haters. So if you are truly seeking peace and tranquility, allow yourself to love in spite of the circumstance, in spite of the person, in spite of whatever action was taken against you. The ONLY thing that matters is how you want to feel. Again, nobody is keeping score of the number of ‘wrongs’ versus the number of ‘rights’ in your life. “She did this to me 5 times so I’m gonna be sure to do this back to her 6 times.” Or, “he yelled at me last week so I’m going to be sure to yell back at him twice this week!” The energy created when we do this creates a vibration the Universe is looking to respond to. Therefore we perpetuate the argument, the anger, the hate. Love is what breaks that cycle.
The last thing to understand is, when we Find Comfort in Who We Are and actually Care Less What They Think, we find all confidence and security in exactly who we are and experience the safety and comfort of that in any and all circumstances. This creates a path that allows us to have Love For The Haters without losing who we are. And in that same space, creates a passageway for all of our heartfelt desires to be realized. Find that peace within yourself and you will find that same peace in every aspect of every day…no matter the circumstance, no matter the situation, no matter the person. Namaste