2016 Week 13 – Master Your Anxiety
“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it” – Kahlil Gibran
Have you ever had a panic attack? Have you ever worried so much about something you couldn’t sleep? Have you ever made a decision to NOT do something because of angst? I can personally attest to saying yes to all of these questions. I have had panic attacks, been worried out of my mind to the point of sleep deprivation and have stopped myself from doing things I knew would be good or provide a good experience all in the name of anxiety. Unchecked anxiety is a very powerful thing. It has the ability to stifle. To constrict. To restrict. And demotivate. So with all of these negative debilitating thoughts and emotions that anxiety creates, why is it that we don’t see it for what it is? Why do we continue to allow anxiety to overpower our true and authentic selves? Why? The fundamental answers may surprise you: when we are dominated by anxiety it is because of the mitigating stories our egos are telling us.
As we’ve spoken about in past blog postings, the only thing you control in this world is how you decide to FEEL. What you feel is what provides direction for your emotions. What’s important to understand is, many of us view/experience circumstances and situations and THEN feel something that is dependent upon that circumstance or situation. In other words, we allow those things that are currently happening to determine how we will then feel.
To begin the journey of mastering anxiety, it is important to understand we all have the ability to DECIDE how we want to feel in the midst of any given situation before the situation occurs. For example, I tell my children every morning to “decide how you want to feel today.” This doesn’t mean you have to decide to be bubbly and joyous all day every day. Maybe you want to be sure you have a productive day. A day of simply relaxing your mind. A day of pure bliss. A day of solitude. Or a day of complete happiness and joy. Whatever you decide, you can have. Focus on what you are deciding for your day and envision yourself having the day you have chosen. Remind yourself throughout the day of what you decided. This way, when circumstances and situations happen, you are not thrown off guard and left to react emotionally because you have already decided what types of feelings and emotions you desire for that day. Whatever you choose, I would assume you would never decide to be anxious about anything. So choose.
This doesn’t mean you are emotionally immune to life’s surprises. It simply means you are proactively aware of your emotions and feelings. YOU are providing guidance for them instead of circumstances and situations telling you what to feel and when to feel it. Decide on what you will feel today. This is the first step to mastering your anxiety.
The second thing to understand is ego. Ego can also be a very powerful thing. If unchecked, ego easily becomes the captain of our ship, leading us to wherever it feels most comfortable as opposed to somewhere we’d actually like to go. Ego is very concerned about what others think and how we are being perceived. Ego needs to be the center of attention and enjoys taking you off the focused centering of your soul. Ego is deftly afraid of being exposed, therefore ego creates mitigating stories in our minds, cloaked in an effort to “protect us” but is basically looking to protect itself.
Have you ever had to give a presentation, large or small, and you become nervous? Knots form in your stomach. You may become queasy. Some people have panic attacks or even faint in severe cases. Have you ever wondered why you feel that way? In most cases it is because you are overly concerned about how others are perceiving you. How are they perceiving what I’m saying, how I’m saying it, my inflections, my tone, my content, etc. Our egos begin to formulate stories…”Don’t say um too much, don’t stumble, try not to look stupid, don’t forget your lines!” Then all of a sudden you start to sweat. You start to feel uneasy, mentally off-balanced and insecure. So ask yourself…how are ANY of these feelings or emotions serving me well in this current situation? How are these emotions benefiting my desires? What are these emotions doing to progress my path in a positive way? And ultimately, what do ANY of these feelings and emotions have to do with who I truly am? This goes for ANYTHING causing you angst or anxiety. Fear of flying, meeting new people, starting a new job, etc. By asking these questions, the ego is exposed. Ego only has power when it is not confronted. The same as the bully on the playground. Once confronted, ego shrinks back to the shadows and your true and authentic self is left to shine. In THIS moment you remember, I am a spiritual being, having a human experience. Rest in that fact.
The third thing to understand when mastering your anxiety is to tap into an authentic perspective of any given situation or circumstance. Think back to a time when you’ve felt anxious. Or you may be feeling anxious about something right now. Identify it. Write it down. Read what you’ve written. Have you experienced this thing that you feel angst about before? What happened? Was it good or bad in your mind? Expose your fears and anxieties by getting them OUT of your mind and putting them down on paper. Ask questions about them on whether or not they are real or perceived.
The fact is, most of the things we worry about or feel anxious about never actually happen. Anxiety, worry, angst…all of it drains us of productive energy. Our energies become wasted on trying to control something in the future when all we have control over is how we feel in the current moment. So, if we can not control what happens in the future and we can not go back to alter the past, offer all of the energy to the present! And in the present, we have the ability to manifest our desired outcome. Desire for that “presentation” to go exactly as planned in the moment. WE create our own individual perspectives. If you perceive and envision something as having a “bad” outcome, it will happen. Why? Because you are focusing your energy towards that thing and the Law of Attraction is absolute. Whatever you emit, will return. Focusing your energy towards the desired outcome alters your vibrational marker to an expected positive outcome. And in that moment you have given yourself authentic perspective as opposed to the “story” your ego created and is expecting you to go with.
So remember three things this week and going forward in regards to how to master your anxieties:
- Decide on what you will feel today – remind yourself throughout the day on how you decided to feel. And feel that way.
- Your ego is a story-teller. Understand you are a spiritual being, having a human experience
- Focus your energies towards your desired outcome, envision that outcome and expect that outcome. This will give you authentic perspective
YOU now have the power and the ability to master your anxieties.